


The Right Cure

by The_H13rophant



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Violence, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 16:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19430002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_H13rophant/pseuds/The_H13rophant
Summary: The Immortal Duo find themselves tracking down a troublesome group of petty thieves, but the two quickly find themselves with a larger issue on their hands. Immortals can apparently get sick, and as per usual, it's up to Kakuzu to pick up the pieces, but what could possibly be the cure to the disgruntled Jashinist's ailment?





	The Right Cure

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! I finally mustered up enough motivation to put my thoughts down coherently into a fic for the first time in many years! The idea for this fic came from Gladyzzia's wonderful art here!
> 
> Be sure to definitely go check it out!

A recent mission from their dear leader had the infamous zombie duo tracking down a group of petty thieves. There wasn’t much information about the group, other than they referred to themselves as the Voices of the Lost and had ransacked several shops in both the Hidden Rain Village and more recently, the Land of Rivers. The people of the Hidden Rain prayed to their angel for her divine protection, and Pein sent his deadliest duo to ease the worries of the villagers, not to mention that the group had accrued a reasonable 500,000 ryo bounty for their heads.

The two immortals had been trailing the thieves for almost a week, and the monotony of travel was beginning to irk Hidan. The pair had been walking through an almost endless forest, without a sign of another human being for several days.

“Do you even know where we are old man? I haven’t sent a soul to Lord Jashin in days and I’m seriously pissed about it! Do you know how much repenting I’ve had to do in the past few days? Lord Jashin will punish me if I don’t perform the ritual soon, and you’re starting to look like a good sacrifice right about now!” Hidan screamed at his partner, who kept steadily walking forward along the riverbed, a large map in hand. “Hey, have you gone deaf already you old fuck? I’m speaking to ya!” Hidan detached his large scythe from its rightful place on his back and made to swing at Kakuzu, who reflexively hardened his skin to block the attack. He was used to Hidan’s provocations by now, the pair had been partners for a little over a year and the hot-headed idiot hadn’t changed a bit, much to his dismay.

“I’m not wasting my time and energy by fighting you right now, the faster we get moving the quicker we can find these thieves, and then you can sacrifice as many of them as you want to your pathetic god. Until then shut the fuck up so I don’t have to hear your incessant whining.” Kakuzu growled as he stared down the immortal, their burning rage palpable as purple met green. Hidan backed down muttering to himself and withdrew his scythe to its holster once more.

The two ex-ninjas had been increasingly terse with each other due to the monotony of travel without results. Hidan for once actually listened to his partner and began to trail behind him quietly once more for all of ten minutes before the silence got to be to much for the immortal Akatsuki. Hidan reached down to grasp his rosary, the familiar habit of thumbing the beads eased his anxiousness and he began to recite long forgotten prayers to his god. Kakuzu’s ears perked at the sound of his partner’s prayers. Kakuzu’s anger at Hidan had slowly been mounting and they both could tell that Kakuzu was almost at his boiling point. Hidan’s prayers continued to increase in volume as they walked along, the Jashinist waxing praise about sharing pain or some sort of bullshit, Kakuzu didn’t really care since he stopped paying attention to what Hidan was saying, but his grating voice was increasingly agitating. Suddenly, Kakuzu whipped around and threw a heavy-handed punch straight at Hidan’s jaw. The Jashinist was caught off guard, blood spewing forth from between his parted lips.

“The shit was that for you fucking heathen asshole? You said it was a waste to fight earlier, now it’s okay to hit me whenever? You’ll receive the divine wrath of Lord Jashin for that!” Hidan whipped his scythe from its holster and charged straight at his partner with the full intent to kill.

The two Akatsuki traded blows viciously, meeting each other blow for blow. They two were evenly matched in terms of raw strength, but Kakuzu clearly had the advantage of quick wit combined with a lifetime of battle experience. 

Unbeknownst to the fighting pair, their targets of pursuit were silently watching from the trees a distance away. They had been following the bounty hunters for the past twenty minutes, amused by their antics and silently awaiting the perfect opportunity to strike. The two were a pretty notorious pair, despite not having much information about the deadly duo. Killing two Akatsuki members would be quite a feat for the group of thieves, there was a pretty hefty bounty on both of their heads and killing two members of the Akatsuki would bring them quite the notoriety. The Voices of the Lost were quickly making quite a name for themselves, having pulled off several successful hoists across two countries. The twenty members masqueraded themselves amongst the trees and rocks, the two quarreling Akatsuki completely oblivious to their presence. Craving a chance for fame and notoriety, the leader of the group held the others back as she silently withdrew her short sword, waiting for the prime second to launch her assault.

Hidan used his scythe as leverage to launch himself at Kakuzu from the rocky riverside, swinging his scythe in a broad stroke that was sure to make contact. Easily seeing through Hidan’s lame excuse as an attack, Kakuzu leapt away from the attack to land on a nearby tree branch. Suddenly, there was a searing hot pain in the right side of his chest, followed by a loud shattering as his fire mask crumbled into pieces, causing blood to sputter out of his mouth. Looking down, there was a sharp thin blade piercing right through his right lung. Meanwhile, several more thieves swarmed around Hidan, almost bisecting him as one blade pierced him in the lower abdomen, another gruesomely cutting through him from shoulder to hip.

Kakuzu angrily glared back at his attacker while dislodging her sword from his chest. Hidan began giggling manically, shouting a prayer to the heavens as he began his slaughter. The fire mask burst free from his back with a blood-curdling inhuman screech, before melting into the ground in a puddle of black threads. Kakuzu had enough, the cumulation of his rage from Hidan, travel, and now losing a heart causing him to reach his breaking point. Although his cloak was damaged and now in need of repair, he released the lightning style and water style masks loose as well, their loud screeches echoing through the woods. Seething with pure unbridled rage, several thick threads exploded from his forearms and immediately plunged into the chest of the thieves’ leader. A shocked look spread across her features as Kakuzu savagely ripped her heart out and held it in front of her face as she died. A crazed smile spread across Kakuzu’s face as he squeezed the warm organ in his hand, causing it to burst in a gruesome explosion of blood and tissue. His two demons landed beside him and immediately began to conjoin, the threads of their bodies entangling and becoming one lumbering, grotesque being. The creature launched itself into the air and aimed right at the group surrounding Hidan, quickly dousing the area with a powerful jet of water before immediately sending deadly bolts of lightning though the water in a devastatingly powerful attack. Several members fell dead immediately, and the masked beast continued to decimate the surrounding area, eradicating both plant and wildlife wherever it pleased.

Hidan yelled something over to Kakuzu, probably along the lines of “Those were my kills asshole! I needed those as sacrifices!” Yet Kakuzu couldn't care less, he was too enraged to do anything other than kill every living creature he came across. More threads erupted from his limbs, thrashing wildly as he grabbed a nearby member by the throat. He took immense joy from slowly pressing his thumb and forefinger into the man’s windpipe, relishing in the sickening crunch as the unfortunate bandit struggled to breathe, his wet inhales slowly ceasing seconds later. Another two bandits rushed at him; blades pointed for his heart. As they reached his body, it liquified and melted into a puddle on the wet ground. In the bandit’s momentary confusion, Kakuzu used his opportunity to grab them by their heads and smashing their faces together, shattering their skulls together in a bloody heap of bone shards and chunky brain matter. Kakuzu continued his brutal assault. He didn’t even bother to utilize his masks any further, instead opting for the personal slaughtering of every single bandit member. The mask continued to destroy their surroundings until there wasn’t a single soul left still breathing.

Kakuzu had lost sight of his partner during his vicious assault, the nearby rustling of a shrub causing him to turn his head sharply. He detached his forearm and extended in the direction of the noise. His hand closed around another throat, drawing the body near and squeezing sharply. The body struggled against his grip weakly and clawed desperately against his tight grip.

“Thought you could get away, did you?” Kakuzu sneered at the heavily bleeding writhing body. Completely at the mercy of his own bloodlust, Kakuzu did not recognize the familiar shock of silver hair as he snapped the neck of his victim and the body dropped with a resounding thud at his feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kakuzu’s chest heaved with exertion after finally coming to his senses and realizing the extension of damage he had caused to the surrounding area. The remnants of several charred and badly beaten bodies scattered around him, there were some that were unrecognizable, but he could potentially still cash in their bounties with a bit of haggling on his end. Looking down, he could see his partner lying face down in a thick tacky pool of his own blood. The immortal man seemed to be unconscious, his wound from earlier still sluggishly bleeding as his organs threatened to spill beneath him, his neck twisted at a strange angle. 

“What happened to you Hidan? I thought you were tougher than that, did your fake god abandon you?” Kakuzu sneered at the unmoving form on the ground. Kneeling down, he looked for the usual signs of life coming from his partner. He would rather die than admit that his concern grew for Hidan when he saw that the man wasn’t moving. He rolled Hidan onto his backside to get a closer look at his current state; his eyes were closed, and wet ragged breaths passed through his bloodied pale lips. His skin had lost its usual warm peachiness and instead faded into a dull sickly pallor. The large slice that had almost bisected him was bleeding sluggishly, the ragged edges causing the skin around the wound to be swollen and irritated. Several fleshy organs were on the verge of spilling forth from his body. Usually by now his inhuman regenerative abilities would be knitting skin and bone together, or his injury would be fully healed. Although relieved to see his partner still alive, Kakuzu sighed and released a series of threads from his forearm to begin piecing his partner back together. He sent out several thin threads to mend the tears in Hidan’s major organs. The sword from earlier had cut cleanly through his right lung, liver, stomach, pancreas, and both intestines. Kakuzu neatly tied off his organs before moving on to reattaching muscle, and finally using a thicker thread to quickly stitch his skin together. Lastly, he sat Hidan upright to twist his neck back to its original location.

Finally, he summoned forth his water mask to none too gently rinse the red irritated skin of dried blood. Kakuzu commanded his mask to gather any and all salvageable bodies in the meantime while he dealt with his unconscious partner. Kakuzu pulled his cloak aside once more to unleash the wind mask. The threaded creature burst forth with an ear-splitting screech and landed dutifully beside its master. It peered down upon Hidan with unblinking eyes and let out a warbling cry at the sight of Hidan. Kakuzu reached over to lightly rake his nails along the warm ceramic of the mask to soothe its distressed cries. He bent down to gather his partner in his arms and placed Hidan gingerly along the back of the beast. He wrapped several thick threads around Hidan’s body to secure him to the creature. The water mask soon returned with its spindly arms wrapped around several bodies, including the thieves’ leader. Kakuzu wanted to get to the collection office as soon as possible, due to the humid summer air causing the bodies to decompose at an alarming rate. The last time Hidan was forced to carry a bounty in the summer heat he complained about not getting the decaying stench out of his clothing and hair for weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moon was high in the sky by the time that Kakuzu finally settled in for the night. He had arrived at the collection office in the Land of Rivers and gathered his sizable bounty from the manager. He managed to convince the manager for the full price of the bounty, despite the damaged state of their bodies. Setting the hefty briefcase down, Kakuzu happily counted his money three times over, and quickly came to the realization that the sum wouldn’t last long based on the Akatsuki’s frivolous spending habits much to his dismay. He sat down next to the still unconscious Hidan and started to read the weekly newspaper while a few large trout lay grilling over the open flame.

Kakuzu took a moment to glance down at his partner’s rather attractive features in the warm glow of the fire. He liked Hidan the best in the rare moments that he was quiet. The wind mask lay beside Hidan protectively and kept a keen surveillance of the area for potential threats. The scent of charring flesh quickly filled the thick humid air until suddenly Hidan let out a low groan as his eyes slowly fluttered open. Kakuzu quickly turned his head away from his partner, lest he be caught staring. The masked beast immediately raised its head in response to Hidan’s awakening and let out a high-pitched wail, it’s tail thumping against the rocky ground rapidly. Hidan to raise a hand to cradle his head at the sudden loud noise.

“Nngh..? The fuck man… My head is splitting…YOU!” Hidan rubbed at his eyes tiredly while taking in his surroundings before snapping his head to his partner, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. He glanced down at the thick line of stitches following from shoulder to hip and began to panic when he couldn’t feel his rosary in its rightful place around his neck.

“You are a fucking maniac! You’re always goin on about me letting loose, yet you fucking snapped my neck earlier! I was calling for you asshole, what the hell was that back there?” Kakuzu looked at his partner in a stunned silence. Had he really lost his composure to the point where he couldn’t even identify his partner? He had no words to say to Hidan, it had been a very long time since he relinquished his self-control to that degree, but Hidan was everything but a liar. Kakuzu glanced down at his hands, which were previously drenched in blood. Now, the only evidence of his rampage from earlier were a few stray flecks of dried blood that had refused to come away from his nails.

“Where the fuck are we anyways? And where the hell is my rosary? I need that shit or else Lord Jashin will get awfully pissed with me, pretty sure he’s already angry. Oh man I’m sure to get it big time now...” Hidan quickly changed subjects while he looked over at Kakuzu, a glimmer of hope in his eyes that his partner had found his most prized and sacred possession.

Snapping out of his own deprecating thoughts, Kakuzu glared over to his partner. “Psh, why would I pick up that insignificant piece of metal anyways? You’re telling me you can’t pray to your god without it? I had much more pressing matters to attend to than getting your stupid necklace. I’ll have you know that the bounty almost got away because of your actions.” Kakuzu gestured over to the full briefcase next to his bedroll. “Luckily for you I was able to get the full amount over those guys, but it was rather pathetic of you to be down for the count so quickly.” Kakuzu stood and rolled his shoulders, before moving over to remove their meal from the flames.

“Yeah no thanks to you fuckwad..” Hidan muttered.

“You know, one of these days the lord will punish you for not only disrespecting his name, but his favorite apostle as well. A lifetime of damnation waits for you in hell my friend.” Hidan stated matter-of-factly, before digging ravenously into his meal. Kakuzu looked over to his partner is disgust as he pulled his facial mask down to eat.

“Don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I’d be fine in hell, as long as there is money to be made, I will survive.” Kakuzu reminded Hidan, who shook his head in return.

“You keep telling yourself that heathen, but once Lord Jashin passes his divine judgement on your blackened soul, then you will truly see.”

With that the two finished their meal in otherwise silence. Kakuzu got up to extinguish their fire shortly after. “We should rest now, there is still a lot of traveling to tomorrow until we return to the base, and I want to leave at sunrise.” Kakuzu looked over to Hidan, who yawned rather loudly and turned to fumble his way up the nearest tree with a large branch for him to rest on. Kakuzu didn’t say anything as he watched Hidan struggle to climb the tree. He warily eyed his partner as he contemplated the reason for Hidan’s unusual exhaustion and lack of coordination. The little bastard still hadn’t fully healed either, but it was none of Kakuzu’s concern, so long as Hidan’s condition wouldn’t affect their travel in the morning. Kakuzu looked over to his mask, confirming its position and affirming its vigilance. The old man lay down on his bedroll, the briefcase of money tucked away at his side, and fell into a fitful rest.

Kakuzu awoke promptly before sunrise and begun to gather what meagre supplies they had laid out the night before. Hidan lay in the tree above him, still soundly snoring away. How he didn’t fall out of the tree in the middle of the night was still a miracle to Kakuzu. The wind mask waddled over to Kakuzu, digging its face into the folds of Kakuzu’s cloak. He looked at the creature before he wordlessly removed his cloak enough for it to reabsorb itself back into his body to settle once more beside its brethren.

Kakuzu jumped over to where Hidan rested and begun the arduous task of waking his partner up. Hidan usually slept soundly and was a pain in the ass to get up in the morning. He climbed up to the branch that Hidan was resting on and shook his shoulder roughly. Hidan only grumbled and subconsciously swatted his hand away. Kakuzu called his name loudly and shook his harder, he was considering shoving the poor Jashinist out of the tree but Hidan finally opened his eyes and blinked groggily at Kakuzu. He raised his hands to wipe away the crust from his eyes yawned loudly.

“Come on Hidan hurry up, we need to get going and if you’re not ready to go in the next five minutes I’m leaving without you.” Kakuzu stated before jumping down to the ground. Hidan only grunted in acknowledgement before rolling over and promptly falling out of the tree with a loud crash, screaming several expletives to the heavens above.

“Idiot.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kakuzu and Hidan had crossed the border back into the Land of Rain, however they still had a few more hours of travel before they reached the Akatsuki’s main base of operations. Although Hidan had seemed fine earlier in the morning, it was rapidly approaching mid-day and he was currently sluggishly trailing behind Kakuzu.

“Oi Kakuzu! Can we take a break? We’ve been travelin’ all fuckin mornin, I’m exhaust… _Ah..Achoo_!” Hidan complained roughly, his voice sounding slightly raspier than usual. “Fuckin stupid sneezing. I’m really tired, c’mon can’t we take a quick break at least?”

Kakuzu briefly stopped to turn back at his partner. It was unusual for him to be so tired midday, given the immense amount of stamina he has, and Kakuzu even gave him an extra five minutes to sleep this morning! He eyed his partner wearily as Hidan began a wet sounding coughing fit.

“I thought you couldn’t get sick.” Kakuzu stated bluntly as he glared at his doubled-over partner. Hidan stared down at the ground in front of him, as if he were seriously contemplating something.

“I can’t. My body _-Achoo!_ Ugh. My body is perfect, I’ve never been sick since becoming immortal. The fuck is this now?” Hidan stared intently down at his hand.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Kakuzu moved to his partner’s side and saw that Hidan’s hand was covered with deep red blood with thick strings of mucus mixed throughout. It was abnormal for his partner to be acting like this, and the blood gathered in Hidan’s palm signaled to internal bleeding. Kakuzu was sure that he stitched Hidan up completely yesterday, had Hidan done something strenuous to tear a stitch internally?

Hidan suddenly began violently coughing, falling to his knees and clutching his chest tightly. “I don’t- _HACK_ I don’t know!” Hidan managed to rasp out between thick heavy coughs. More blood splattered on the ground, causing Kakuzu’s eyes to widen. “He’s pissed I…I lost my… _Hrk!_ ” Hidan’s whole body heaved with the force of his coughing, barely giving him time to breathe before another fit began.

Kakuzu knelt next to Hidan and placed a steadying hand between his shoulders, which Hidan quickly dislodged by turning his body away. Kakuzu frowned behind his mask, they needed to keep moving to return to the base so they could receive another mission as soon as possible. Not ones for relaxing between missions, for it was Kakuzu’s sole objective to make as much money as possible as quickly as he could; and it was Hidan’s objective to spread the word of Jashin and provide him with worthy sacrifices. Grasping Hidan’s shoulder firmly, he pressed the back of his hand to Hidan’s forehead, unsurprised to find the skin moist and clammy, and burning with a fever. His cheeks and nose were flushed a cherry red, starkly standing out against his pallid complexion.

“Get your gross money-grubbing hands away from me asshole, I’m - _HACK_ **I’m fine dickhead!** ” Hidan stood up to move away from Kakuzu, swaying heavily. Kakuzu was at his side in an instant, grasping the back of his cloak tightly to steady the immortal.

“Fine my ass. You mentioned he was pissed with you; I’m assuming you mean your god? That’s bullshit, you probably just aggravated your stitches. We aren’t stopping either. We are going back to the base today, even if I have to carry you.” Kakuzu grumbled. He didn’t believe in Jashin so there was no way that this god was making his supposed “favorite apostle” ill, although he did find it peculiar that Hidan’s injuries hadn’t faded. In fact, the ragged irritated edges of his wounds looked the same as they did when he finished stitching his skin together yesterday. Hidan leaned heavily against Kakuzu’s shoulder, despite his low mumbles of protest. The two Akatsuki stood like this for a moment; Hidan’s head squished uncomfortably against Kakuzu’s broad shoulder while he tried to steady his breathing, and Kakuzu’s hand firmly supporting him.

Hidan was the first to turn away from his partner to took questioningly at him. Kakuzu could see the unfocused, glassy look in his partners usually sharp eyes. Hidan mumbled something unintelligible before stumbling away. Hidan only shuffled a few feet away before falling flat on his face against the rocky ground. Kakuzu’s shoulders slumped and he sighed deeply. Sure enough, Hidan was lying passed-out on the ground with no signs of getting up anytime soon.

Letting out a deep sigh, Kakuzu set his briefcase down to pull his cloak aside and began the process of releasing the wind mask once more. The threaded creature had recently taken a peculiar liking to Hidan, and the two worked seamlessly without having to even communicate. Kakuzu grunted at the familiar pain of having the beast loudly burst free from his back with several harsh snaps. The creature swaggered over to the unconscious man on the ground and with the help of its master, Hidan was lifted onto the mask’s large back and properly secured. It happily chittered at Kakuzu as he gave it a complimentary scratch on the head, its wiry tail swaying steadily behind it.

“I don’t even know why I put up with this…” Kakuzu muttered to himself as he lifted his briefcase once more, his spare heart waddling behind him carrying Hidan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, Kakuzu finally departed the ferry and stepped into the familiar territory of the Hidden Rain Village. He begrudgingly handed the boatwoman a few notes and decided to turn into the shady back alleyways of the village. He kept his head low so that his appearance would be skewed by his large straw hat. The coins attached to the brim of his hat clinked quietly as he walked the mostly abandoned streets. The people of the Hidden Rain were comforted at the sight of the black and red robes of the Akatsuki, yet Kakuzu could sense the palpable anxiety of the villagers at the sight of a hulking threaded black creature. It stayed virtually silent as it dutifully trailed close to Kakuzu. Hidan was still passed out cold, and the creature wove its spindly wings together to act like a makeshift umbrella. The thick rain soaked Hidan and Kakuzu down to the bone. While Hidan was oblivious to the constant downpour, it dampened Kakuzu’s otherwise good mood. The thick material of the Akatsuki standard cloaks did little to keep the two of them dry against the heavy unrelenting rain. Kakuzu slouched his shoulders and sighed deeply, the base wasn’t too far away, but he wanted to get himself and Hidan out of the rain as soon as possible.

Kakuzu approached the main headquarters of the Akatsuki, which was an inconspicuous large building that had once been an apartment complex, and further modified to fulfill their needs. The masked creature compressed and thinly stretched its body in order to fit through the main door frame. Kakuzu maneuvered through the large high-ceilinged room and dumped Hidan on a spacious couch. The Jashinist mumbled something incoherent before rolling over to resume his lengthy slumber.

Setting the briefcase down beside him, Kakuzu moved to sit on the edge of the couch beside Hidan. Hidan’s fever has yet to break and several beads of sweat collected around his brow. Making sure he was entirely alone, Kakuzu tentatively reached his hand out to brush back a few stray strands of hair that stuck to Hidan’s forehead. His hand traveled down to cusp Hidan’s ruddy cheek, letting his hand linger there a moment while gently stroking his thumb along the subtle jut of Hidan’s cheekbone. Snapping out of his own indulgent thoughts, Kakuzu left his partner to sleep while sought out Pein’s office to report the outcome of their mission.

It had been quite some time since Kakuzu left to turn in their mission report. Hidan slowly came to consciousness on the couch, his eyelids fluttering open at the sound of several voices. He instantly regretted opening his eyes, however, the Jashinist’s entire body ached with every moment, and it felt as if somebody had rammed his ritual pike straight through his temples. Groaning as he attempted to sit up, Hidan cradled his head in his hands and silently mouthed a prayer to Lord Jashin, an apology for his sins.

He didn’t care for the presence of two other Akatsuki members, Kisame and Itachi were seated at a nearby table with a large teapot situated between the two of them. They chatted idly between themselves, Kisame standing to retrieve their teacups and teacakes for them to snack on. A sickly-sweet smell permeated the air from the sugary buttercream and the fresh berries from their cakes.

Kakuzu descended the stairs that lead into their common area, he was mentally and physically exhausted due to the day of travel and the long mission briefing from Pein, while their leader was pleased with their efficiency, he was irritated with the fact that Hidan was ill and pinned the blame of his injuries on Kakuzu. Shaking his head, he was going to make himself a hot cup of bitter tea to calm himself and read the weekly newspaper. His eyes snapped to his half-conscious partner, who groaned loudly and held his stomach. Ignoring the presence of the other two Akatsuki members, Kakuzu turned his focus to his ill partner.

The sickening sent of food caused several waves of nausea to wrack through Hidan and he fought hard to keep the contents of his stomach from erupting. He dry-heaved a few times before emptying his stomach in a nearby bag on the floor. The rancid scent permeated his nostrils and the sight of his own vomit made Hidan puke all the harder. The thick chunky liquid was dark and mixed with bright red blood. Kakuzu was unsure of what to do for his sickly partner, but he hesitantly reached his out his hand and lightly placed it on the middle of Hidan’s back. Hidan wasn’t getting any better, and he vaguely wondered if the Jashinist was telling the truth earlier about his illness being divine punishment. Hidan altered between harshly puking blood and bile, and wetly coughing. Kisame scoffed at the pair of immortals in disgust, his relatively quiet afternoon tea ruined by the disturbing sight in front of him. Itachi looked over at Hidan sympathetically, momentarily reflecting to when Sasuke came down with a bad case of the stomach flu when he was six and Itachi was tasked with taking care of him. Itachi moved his hand over to cover Kisame’s on the table and persuaded his partner to move their afternoon session elsewhere. Not one to deny his partners wishes, the two began to relocate to their quarters.

Sensing they were alone, Kakuzu sat beside Hidan and began to gently rub what he hoped to be soothing circles between Hidan’s shoulders. Hidan groaned pathetically, his throat burned with the acrid taste of his bile mixed with the metallic tinge of blood. Every inhale felt like his diaphragm was being sliced into. Finally, his nausea subsided, and he leaned heavily into Kakuzu’s side. Hidan looked blearily at his partner, and Kakuzu could see thin lines of burst blood vessels spidering underneath Hidan’s eyes and over his cheeks. Hidan sniffled into the sleeve of his Akatsuki cloak, groaning at the growing congestion in his chest and sinuses.

“Go upstairs and lie in bed, I’m going to get you some medicine for this cold.” Kakuzu said gruffly, nudging Hidan from his rather comfortable position. Hidan reluctantly stood and loudly rolled his shoulders, popping the stiff joints in his neck and back.

“M’ not taking any of your gross ass medicine old man, gotta suffer through Jashin’s punishment in full.” Hidan muttered as he moved to shuffle away and retreat to their shared bedroom.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the Jashinist and made his way to the kitchen. Kakuzu didn’t trust in the generic flu syrup that could be found in any apothecary, he could never be too sure of their ingredients, not to mention that the medicine could be rather expensive. Instead he preferred to refer to a long-forgotten recipe taught to him by his mother when he was barely a genin. Kakuzu’s mother was a rather talented medical ninja, and she made sure to teach her only son the basics of medical ninjutsu. The lessons from his mother had served Kakuzu well over his lengthy lifetime, and he reflected on the memories with a bittersweet sadness. Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, Kakuzu began to rummage around in their mostly bare cupboards for the ingredients he needed. He was only able to find a few of the ingredients needed for his remedy; the cloves, cinnamon sticks, ginger root, honey, and star anise had been sitting in jars for who knows how long, yet Kakuzu would have to go back outside in the relentless rain to gather the rest of the ingredients. Making a quick mental list of the few things he would need, Kakuzu buttoned his cloak and grabbed his hat and a large umbrella as he stepped into the streets once more.

The apothecarist in the Hidden Rain village was a decent supplier, Sasori was well acquainted with the shop-owner, as he frequented the place quite often for rare and unusual ingredients for his poisons. He approached the shop and quickly opened the door. The small building was filled with an earthy musky scent. He grunted a greeting at the shop owner and began to scour around for what he needed.

Kakuzu took his time observing the shelves lined with various herbs, plants, and elixirs. He carefully selected several jars, one containing dried pulmonaria leaves, another with colt’s-foot leaves, a bundle of dried Althaea root, and finally a container of fresh elderberries. Satisfied with his selection, he made his way to the front counter to begrudgingly pay for the ingredients before heading back to the base and getting to work in the kitchen.

Hidan had managed to make his way upstairs to their shared bedroom, where he practically fell face-first into the dingy threadbare covers of his bed. He barely had the energy in him to remove his cloak and pants before burrowing under the covers. Despite his high body temperature, a chill made its way up his spine and seemed to settle in his bones. He let out a frustrated noise and ripped himself out of bed to snatch the sheets and blankets from Kakuzu’s bed, adding them to his own and settling down once more.

Hidan habitually grasped at his sternum for his pendant and frowned once he remembered that he didn’t have it. He threw his head dramatically back into his mound of pillows and huffed loudly, he wasn’t exactly tired per say, yet his entire body was drained of energy and felt heavy, similar to how he would feel after a lengthy and successful ritual. Every muscle hurt and his joints felt stiff, not to mention that his chest and sinuses were so congested that he could hardly breathe.

Hidan’s eyes fell to the slightly ajar door of their bathroom. Kakuzu wasn’t home, which meant that Hidan could freely take as much time as he wanted to in the shower, and he wouldn’t have to worry about getting yelled at or even worse, Kakuzu cutting the hot water off in its entirety. The Jashinist moved to the bathroom and stripped himself completely before turning the shower on and cranking the hot water all the way up. Steam quickly billowed out of the shower and filled the room, reminding himself of his homeland and its bountiful hot springs. He thought back to his time with the church, how he would most definitely drag Kakuzu along with him to visit next time he was in the area. Hidan sniggered to himself at the thought of Kakuzu surrounded by his fellow Jashinists. Plopping himself down on the floor of the shower, Hidan closed his eyes and let torrents of hot water flow over his head and back, the steam slowly unclogging his airways. He sat in the shower for an indeterminate amount of time, his fingers and toes heavily pruned by the time he pried himself off the floor to shut the water off. He was as close to breathing normally for the first time in hours, a grin gracing his face as he sat in the steam covered bathroom until it dissipated. He wrapped a towel loosely around his narrow hips and sliced his hair back to its usual state, not bothering to use gel as he would normally. He redressed himself and collapsed once more on his bed. Hidan reached onto the small table next to his bed and grasped a small, leather bound book, while he had already memorized the holy book of Jashin word for word, he wasn’t quite ready to fall back asleep and he needed something to do to pass the time. 

In the kitchen, Kakuzu pulled out a large pot and their well-used kettle. He began to combine the ginger, cinnamon, cloves, and elderberries in a large saucepan with water while he set the Althaea root to soak in a jar. He spent the better part of an hour letting the elderberries simmer away as he sat and read an ancient, heavily bound tome from his personal collection.

At some point, Kisame came back down into the kitchen carrying what was presumably his and Itachi’s dishes from earlier. He paused to eye Kakuzu wearily from the entrance before making his way over to the sink to wash their dishes.

“What’s the pot for?” Kisame peered over to the rapidly simmering pot on the stove and looked questioningly back at Kakuzu.

“It’s flu medicine for Hidan, it’s cheaper this way that buying the crap they sell nowadays.” Kakuzu gruffly stated, not once looking up from his novel. Kisame grinned at the mention of Kakuzu’s partner. The others in the Akatsuki had been suspicious of the zombie-duo’s strange relationship. It was incomprehensible to them how they could be at each other’s throats so often, yet their teamwork was seamless and exceptional on the battlefield. Kisame was planning on pushing Kakuzu further about Hidan’s current predicament, yet he heard Itachi’s weak voice from upstairs and hurriedly finished his chores so he could return to Itachi’s side. Kakuzu shook his head at Kisame’s odd behavior, he always behaved oddly around the older man, perhaps it was due to the palpable distaste of Kakuzu and his partner. It didn’t matter anyway, Kakuzu wasn’t in the Akatsuki to make friends, the man just wanted to increase his personal wealth.

He paused his reading to get up and stir the contents of the thick-bottomed pot. The liquid had reduced heavily, and the berries had withered and began to disintegrate. He took a potato masher to the berries and strained the contents of the pot through a mesh cheesecloth, leaving a viscous bitter juice. He added a healthy amount of honey to the jar to let the and set the syrup aside to cool. Meanwhile, he removed the Althaea root from its jar and set the tea kettle to boil. He reached for the cupboard above the stove to rummage around for Hidan’s mug, a solid dark green mug made by their residential ceramicist. He poured the root-infused water into the cup before carefully measuring out several leaves of pulmonaria and colt’s foot before bundling them together in a cheesecloth and placing them into the cup as well. Soon enough the kettle began to softly whistle, and Kakuzu removed it from the heat and poured the boiling water over the dried leaves. Mixing in a heaping teaspoon of honey, he sat down and picked up his book once again while he waited for the tea to steep.

Hidan only got a third of the way through the holy book of Jashin before his attention span wore out and he set it aside. Even though Hidan was serious and completely and fully devoted to his god didn’t mean that he was a very patient man. He lay back and scrubbed at his eyes with his fists, wishing for his rosary so that he could at least pass the time with his prayers. He really needed to pray for repentance properly. He tossed and turned on his bed, his stiff muscles not helping with the overall discomfort of being ill. He contemplated going back to sleep to pass the time, but he heard the familiar heavy footfalls of his partner approaching. He lay back and made himself comfortable, as he anticipated Kakuzu’s reaction to his barren bed with a smug look on his face.

Kakuzu approached his shared room with a small tray in hand containing a proper dosage of the elderberry syrup and a piping hot mug of pulmonaria tea. Opening the door, he frowned upon seeing the utter mess Hidan had made of their room, his clothing strewn over the floor and the little idiot had managed to steal all his bedding as well.

“What the fuck have you been doing in here, I sent you up here to rest, not make a total mess.” 

Hidan sniffled loudly and let out a small cough, throwing a hand dramatically over his eyes. “I was freezing, you really gotta be nicer to me man, I’m practically fuckin’ dying over here ya know.” Hidan pouted at his partner, eyeing the tray in his hand.

“What’s that shit for? I already told you I ain’t taking no fuckin medicine. It goes against my religion, Jashin’s punishin’ me and I gotta suffer fully for it.”

Kakuzu set the tray down on the small table next to Hidan’s bed and glared at his partner. He didn’t waste his time and money for this ungrateful brat to not take the cold syrup, it would save everyone at the base’s sanity if Hidan got well as soon as possible.

“You’re taking this. No exceptions. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your religious values, now open up.” Kakuzu picked up the small container with the thick purple liquid inside and handed it to his partner. Hidan swirled the syrup around and hesitantly sniffed it, from what he could smell it was probably bitter and gross. He wrinkled his nose and just stared at it, and Kakuzu had to all but pry his jaw open and pour the syrup down his throat. Hidan made a disgusted face as the medicine sat in his mouth, refusing to swallow the vile concoction. Kakuzu rolled his eyes at his partner before clamping his hand over Hidan’s nose, restricting his airflow. Hidan glared at the older man sharply, his gaze filled with hatred. Eventually, Hidan swallowed the gross syrup and began to cough violently once more.

“I swear I’ll make you take it again if you puke, keep it all down. Wash the taste out with this.” Kakuzu handed Hidan his large mug filled with steaming tea. Hidan went to take a large gulp of tea and scorched his tongue and the roof of his mouth, almost dropping the cup in the process.

“Fucker! You made this shit too hot! My fuckin mouth hurts!”

“Stop acting like a child, you’ll heal. Eventually…” Kakuzu trailed off, looking at the nasty wound that he stitched yesterday. It still hadn’t healed, the angry jagged edges and the thick stitching a stark contrast against Hidan’s fair skin.

“Just be sure to drink your tea, it’ll reduce the congestion in your chest.” Kakuzu got up to leave his partner to rest once more, looking forward to finishing his book. Turning to look at his partner, he eyed him warily, “You’re also cleaning this place up and washing my bedding when you feel better, I refuse to sleep in this pigsty you’ve made.” Hidan disregarded his warning with a wave of his hand. Kakuzu placed his hand on the doorknob, intending to return downstairs.

“Wait.”

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and turned to look at his partner once more.

“What is it now?”

“Just c’mere, I need to tell you somethin’.” Hidan beckoned for the older man to approach him.

Kakuzu heavily sighed but did so anyways, stopping in front of Hidan’s bed and placing his hands on his hips. He stood waiting for Hidan to tell him what was oh-so important. 

“Closer, c’mon I’m not contagious ya know.” Hidan sat up impatiently and reinforced his request with a slight hand gesture.

Kakuzu shook his head and sat on the side of the bed and waited for whatever it was that Hidan needed to tell him. Suddenly, there was a muscled arm slung over his shoulder and a brief wet kissed placed on the sliver of above his mask. Kakuzu blinked back at Hidan owlishly, he always knew Hidan wasn’t right in the head, but had his illness made him completely lose it? Or was it the medicine making him delirious? Kakuzu could feel his cheeks and ears heat up, however thankfully for him Hidan didn’t notice because of his headdress and mask.

“Thanks for takin’ care of me or whatever old man. Now get the fuck out do I can go to sleep.” Hidan stretched his arms out, popping the joints in his shoulders before laying back down and curled up under the covers. Kakuzu furrowed his brow and sat there frowning for a moment, he felt each of his hearts beat erratically and out of sync with each other, and he momentarily forgot how to breathe. He numbly got up and promptly walked out of the room, trying to piece together what the hell just happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidan had slept soundly through the night, and by the time he awoke the next morning he was feeling slightly better. Opening his eyes, his throat felt dry and scratchy as all hell, yet he could breathe out of a single nostril, a significant improvement. He got up to go perform his daily ablutions and his morning prayers, but a glint of metal caught his eye. On the small table lay a glass of water, three small pills and his rosary. He tentatively reached his hand out, thinking that he may be hallucinating the sight before him. His fingers wrapped around the divine symbol of Jashin, grounding him. He gingerly ran his fingers along the silver beads, noticing a stark difference in the familiar worn beads. Apparently, he had lost a few because there were five or six shining brand-new beads strung along next to the tarnished silver of his original beads. The whole rosary was tied together with an oddly familiar thick charcoal grey thread. Smiling to himself, He lovingly put the rosary back around his neck to its rightful place and drank the water faster than a man in a desert, completely ignoring the pills. He quickly got dressed and grabbed his scythe and attached his ritual pike to his belt. He was going to properly pay his repentance, and then get himself back in Lord Jashin’s favor, starting with performing a lengthy ritual on the first unsuspecting soul that crossed his path.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidan came back to the base several hours later grinning from ear to ear and drenched completely from head to toe in blood, a tired, content look on his face. He glanced over at his partner, who was reading the paper on the couch. Kakuzu made an exasperated groan and started to lecture Hidan once more about tracking blood all over the floor, it was a timely and expensive process to clean out the carpets. Hidan didn’t really care all too much, he was feeling better and his wound had even begun to heal. He walked over to his ranting partner and fisted the high collar of his cloak in hand. Yanking his hand downwards, he firmly pressed his lips to Kakuzu’s over his mask, effectively ending his tirade. Hidan pulled away after a brief moment, a large grin covering his face before he left to wash away the remnants of his ritual. Kakuzu blinked slowly as his brain rapidly tried to piece together what just occurred, and he stared dumbfoundedly at Hidan’s rapidly disappearing figure.


End file.
